Spike Milligan moments

From my comments a couple of days ago you will realise my knowledge of beetles is fairly limited. Two species are embedded in my brain, Stag and Dung. Stag beetles are relatively rare in the UK and their whereabouts should be reported at the first opportunity. This I did when I discovered a considerable number hiding in a private swimming pool pump house whilst working in Surbiton, of all places.Many years earlier, whilst helping-out on a farm near Lusaka, Zambia I offered to accompany three of the staff into the city on a daily egg-delivery run. The rear of the Mitsubishi pick-up truck was loaded with eggs and me, whilst the three staff knowingly occupied the cab. I quickly learned why all open-air pick-up truck passengers face rearwards, having quickly shipped mouthfulls and eyefulls of flying insects. Thus, facing backwards I and the truck headed for the city at around 40 mph, while unbeknown to me, a flying dung beetle was heading the opposite way at a similar speed. An adult beetle is roughly the size of a golf ball and almost as tough. Needless to say beetle and back of head made contact at a combined speed of 80 mph, the impact embedded in my brain (but not my head) to this day. I somehow remained upright and fortunately the eggs survived, as did I. By the way, the commencement of my tumour was tracked-back to a mini-stroke around 1999, not monitored by the NHS. Thus the Dung beetle was totally innocent. The title of Dung beetle in a sandstorm can be blamed on one of my Spike Milligan moments, more frequently occurring as I get older. As an example, Spike's gravestone is emblazoned with the words " I told them I was ill". We spent today visiting our stricken Yaris and our progressing boat, together with two daughters and three granddaughters. Emptying the Yaris of all personal possessions, number plates (we are retaining our personal number) and tax disc was very poignant. However, our damage was only a fraction of that to an adjacent sports car. I think it was a Lotus, the only visible recognisable clues being the hub-caps.Strangely it made us feel a whole lot better and pleased to still be alive. TARDIS TWO has gained a little weight over Christmas with the necessary ballast added. The Bubble Inn kitchens were having a hygiene inspection so we were all forced to once again visit the Dragon, which left very little time to discuss colour schemes and other vital issues with Eddie and Marian. We aim to go back tomorrow after picking up our hire car ready for the hospital trip on Wednesday.

Belated 2012 review

Today is Sunday and necessarily quiet. A good time to look back over my 2012. Following forty seven years of non-stop working, some active, some sedentary, my mind and body told me it was time to pack-up, which is exactly what I did, having first ensured my son Tom could and would continue my business. At the same time I retired from rowing and league ten-pin bowling after many years and no outstanding achievements. I once had a ninth share of a shield when I formed part of a scratch mixed vets crew from Molesey and Kingston Grammar School clubs at Molesey vets regatta. Against all odds we managed to win, largely due to an extremely complex handicap system. Apart from the presentation I have not seen the magnificent shield since, but I'm sure it looks great in someone's trophy cabinet. Having formed Blind Ali ten-pin bowling team many years ago and subsequently lurking in mid-table every year we managed to win the 2011/2012 league. Again a trophy eluded me as I had moved North prior to the presentation. Therefore my trophy cabinet remains empty despite previous spells in football, badminton, bowls, tennis, table tennis and swimming (not at the same time), interspersed by diabetes, lymphoma,a mini-stroke and a brain tumour. Who says exercise is good to maintain a healthy body? For post-retirement 2012 details see my September introduction blog. All in all 2012 was a mixed year, the highlight being commencement of the boat.It certainly went out with a bang! We plan a visit to see TARDIS TWO tomorrow so should have a progress report for you.

sand storm dung beetle

I have some good news and bad news.......No, that is a lie as I only have bad news.Sorry. Today my little Yaris is no more, merely a statistic on the DVLC computer, Having been written off as economically irrepairable, I am still awaiting the settlement terms from my naval insurance company. I suppose if they are used to dealing with those huge sailing ships, contactable at Dover then not again for several weeks until they arrive in the America's (if they do not fall off the edge of the World) then fast communication is not their forte. The Yaris has been part of our family for over 10 years so her departing to a scrap heap is a very sad affair. A replacement will be sought once we know how much we have to spend. The choice will be down to Lynne as I have already decided my driving days are over (apart from TARDIS TWO of course).My scan and drug review cannot come soon enough as all day my brain has felt like a dung beetle in a sandstorm. I spent the day (sunny and warm)in bed, emerging for a light breakfast, lunch and tea. Having caught up with the sleep I missed last night the fear now is I may evolve to be nocturnal.

Eureka !!!

With no sign of the carrier pigeon I rang my naval insurance company at 10.00am this morning who confirmed they still know where my car is and an estimate had been received at 0830 this morning, which has been passed to their assessors for a decision. Due to the Christmas and New Year breaks the assessors have a considerable backlog of work but a decision is anticipated today and I will be notified accordingly (I'm not going to hold my breath). I am now on very friendly terms with naval insurance staff Mark, Stacey, Mellisa, Nick and Tim. Blue sky and sunny again, a good cruising day. We plan to cadge a lift to Stensons at the earliest opportunity.

Knotted handkerchief time

A very warm and dry day for the time of year. I could have been on Skegness beach in Burmuda shorts and knotted hankerchief in true British tradition, if only I had a car. With no call from my naval insurance company I contacted them late afternoon to discover progress, if any. They confirmed they had found my car at the Nottingham garage (where it should have been almost a week ago) but had yet to obtain an estimate for repairs. Urgent contact would be made and I would be called back. Unfortunately the carrier pigeon has yet to arrive so I guess it will need a further call from me in the morning. Serves me right for having the audacity to claim for an accident. 2012 has been confirmed as the wettest on record for the UK, confirming the brilliance of our boat-building decision.

Lost. Silver and answers to name of "Herbie".

I spent this morning (it's raining again) trying to locate my car. I could not get through to the garage in Nottingham to whom the car should have been transferred from the recovery depot in Coalville. I then phoned my insurance company - linked to the navy - who confirmed it should already be in Nottingham but they would check and let me know of any progress. As you would expect, my next attempt at getting through to the Nottingham garage was immediately successful. However, the young lady had no knowledge of my car or its whereabouts, nor had they been authorised by insurance to collect it. In desperation I then phoned the recovery depot who confirmed the car was still with them. Another call to my insurance company confirmed they had yet to arrange transfer of my car to Nottingham, apologised for the obvious oversight but promised to keep me updated thereafter, which was very reassuring and confirmed the urgency of their actions on my behalf.I wonder if their speed would increase if they were chasing late premium payment?(not applicable). Boat news will probably be in short supply this week as any visit to Stensons is out of the question. Bradley Wiggins I am not.

Liverpool Care Pathway

Hope the New Year has been good to you so far. It is sunny with blue skies this morning which bodes well for the year? Having got my head back into gear I can report an incident which occurred a day or two ago on the way home from Birmingham. Following my first (and only) seizure I ceased driving for a year, resuming without problem four months ago. According to Lynne a few miles from the end of the M69 I became more vacant than usual and slowed down. She asked me to pull onto the hard shoulder from the slow lane which I did but unfortunately misjudged the distance to the side crash barrier and hit it, very slowly. A call to Club Toyota (membership highly recommended for Toyota owners) resulted in a recovery truck, Police, Highways Agency and an ambulance arriving within minutes. All were very efficient and supportive. Both Lynne and I were ok but we were bundled into the ambulance, vital checks completed and delivered to Leicester Royal Infirmary where we waited over two hours for the ambulance crew to officially transfer us to the hospital's care. At the same time there were at least eight ambulance crews similarly held-up. What a waste of vital life-saving services. As the only A & E department for in and around Leicester the place resembled Wembley stadium minutes before the FA cup final.Eventually I had vital checks completed by the triage nurse and I was initially parked in the corridor again before being moved further along and almost in the treatment area. I was getting concerned I was already on the Liverpool Care Pathway, apparently a system whereby (mainly old) patients cease being given food, water, treatment or drugs thus saving the NHS money and beds. Authorised euthanasia. I was eventually released with instructions to contact my hospital in London for further review at the earliest opportunity. A successful search for a cash machine allowed us to get a taxi home. Subsequently "my" hospital in London arranged another brain scan and medication review, largely to address my concerns regarding stability on the boat.Falling into the canal is one thing, being only four feet deep, but the same happening in a lock could prove fatal. Phone consultations indicate the problems could be stress and drug related (anti-depressant and anti-seizure)so doses and types may need tinkering with. Apart from that I am OK. The car was originally taken to a garage in Coalville, near here, but is now in Nottingham for assessment by the insurers engineer. No news yet. Luckily all we need is just around the corner, shops, restaurants,pubs, countryside, but getting further afield may prove less easy. Last night failed to produce the expected party next door so New Year has been stress-free so far. Long may it continue.