six steps forward,three steps back

Sunny with blue sky and no clouds. Bad day for CAS members.Sorry. Following my long period of relative healthyness life took a turn for the worst yesterday. A restless night, floppy arms and five evening dizzy spells (fuzzyheadedness). Not good news. The only plus point being locating Walkers crisps. Having done a bit of homework it appears Golden Wonder and Smiths morphed into Walkers, hence the monopoly (excluding own-brands). But I diverse. No walk today for obvious reasons but I'll try to contact relevant experts in an attempt to find if my current troubles are merely a passing phase or something more serious. No doubt I will be asked to undertake yet another brain scan at St.Georges hospital, Tooting at great expense and time which will reveal nothing has changed and the advice again to "just get on with things", which I intend to do anyway. I've not got this close to the boat to give up now. As usual Lynne acts as my pillar (in every sense of the word) throughout each episode with the result I do not hit the floor or any other damaging obstruction. I'll pass the time with a spot of gardening and admiring the pylons yet again. Boat day tomorrow to update progress and see if we can get some idea of final price now all the pluses and minuses can be taken into account. Hopefully we'll then get some idea of our financial shortfall and how to rectify it. Blog title? Must be something to do with my age.

Gary Lineker

sunny today. I realised I have not reported on the rhino lately. He is OK but now has his mouth permanently open as if bellowing at something in the village centre but I have not seen lions or poachers there. Having previously mentioned I have not suffered any dizzy spells (or a fuzzy head as my doctor calls them) during February yesterday I had two, on top of which my left arm ceased to function twice on different occasions (roughly equivalent to dead-leg I suppose). A rough night followed. I felt OK this morning so completed my walk, but this time over a different route past the Anstey Nomads football "stadium", through a vast and very hilly country park to the Walkers crisp factory in Beaumont Leys, a long-held ambition of mine (sad eh?). Fortunately Gary Lineker was nowhere to be seen and unfortunately the factory does not "do" tours for the public, only schools and reps from other companies. I might print a business card for Golden Wonder, Smiths or Porky's pork scratchings to sneak my way in. Or I could find my old school shorts and jacket, I suppose. Overall I reckon the walk extended over five miles but was completed without problem, although I did suffer a dizzy spell whilst drinking my coffee at home afterwards.

Bedsit Disco Queen

Wet and cold today. My teeth passed their MOT with flying colours this morning. Some minor cosmetic work, no fillings, no pain. What always concerns me with dentists is how they disappear out of the room when taking xrays. If it is that dangerous what happens to the patient? The boat blind saga continues. The trial run yesterday was a success with one roman blind completed without major problem. Hopefully the completion rate will improve by time the thirteenth blind is done, otherwise we may be sleeping/showering/answering the call of nature in full view of the towpath for a month or two. Once the Yaris was scrapped I informed Club Toyota of the sad news and yesterday I received a cheque for the remaining unused membership period. A simple process done without hassle. Spanish Bank and Naval insurance please note. The next Tardis Two tasks to be addressed are registration, licensing and signwriting, plus juggling our ever decreasing funds. The latter being the most daunting. I have just finished reading Bedsit Disco Queen (how I grew up and tried to be a pop star) by Tracy Thorn. (Tracy who? I hear you ask.) Now 45 and mother of 3 Tracy began her pop career thirty years ago in the Marine Girls punk group before spending eighteen years as one half of Everything But The Girl,releasing nine albums and selling over nine million records. There are many ups and downs in the book with violent lifestyle swings from luxury to squalor and back again. If you like those type of stories you will love this. EBTG first came to my notice many years ago on an EP (remember those?)entitled "Covers". The exact opposite of punk. As part of the blind-making team I was despatched to a little knitting wool, knitting pattern, patchwork quilt cloth shop in the village, to purchase four meters of blind cord. The shop appears to have changed very little since victorian times, as has the stock. A little old hag appeared from the back like someone from the Hobbit or an old Dracula film. Long, knotted grey hair, cauldron coloured face and an oversize browny green hand-knitted sweater. Eventualy she found what I wanted and I quickly escaped via the victorian door, somewhat larger than the door frame, requiring considerable strength and/or bulk to close.

Tardis introduction service

Drizzle and cold today. Still managed my walk though. We are trying to coordinate the finishing touches to Tardis Two. We have a few large, heavy items (currently in storage at home) to MCC. A friend with a vintage campervan (for the want of a better description)has offered to provide the transport and muscle required. One item is a box containing a folding table and four chairs. The other is a mattress, but not any old lightweight job. We changed our decrepid old mattress in our previous home several years ago and invested in a Harrison hand-made one containing six thousand springs (no kidding) The cover is made from wool sheared from their own flock apparently. Although expensive it is the most comfortable mattress we've ever owned. As we will be living on the boat we decided to buy another. Because of the weight and the fact it cannot be folded we suggested they build the boat around it, but they refused as they could not guarantee it's condition on boat completion. It has been a consistent joke throughout the build process and the MCC crew still don't believe us. We cannot wait to see their reaction when it arrives although we are fairly confident it will get through the rear door and to the front bedroom, hernia's permitting. Today is blind practice day. Lynne and friend Sue aim to settle on designs and manufacture. We should have some idea of timescales too. We are already organising trips to important events during the summer. Going anywhere requires considerable forward planning due to the four mph top speed. Crick Boat Show is from 25th to 27th May and is a must for the narrow boating fraternity, but interesting for others. It is for the real ale, black or green wellington brigade. Crick is on the Grand Union Canal above Watford Gap so the weather should be warmer than down South, although it usually rains. Avoid high heels (women and men). Other than windcheaters and waterproof footwear dress style is optional.Road access is available. Henley Regatta is from 3rd to 7th July. Racing from 0900 to 1930 approximately. For the men striped blazers and straw boaters are not essential. Dark blazers, chinos with a shirt and tie are required. For the ladies, dresses should be below the knee. Hats are recommended but not essential.Trousers and/or jeans are a no-no, as are wellies.Henley is for the Pimms brigade which,if properly prepared, offers refreshment and virtually all your 5 a day requirements. Henley is not as posh and stuffy as you would imagine. It offers a very good day out and the chance to bump into eligible olympians. We also have a couple of weddings to attend mid-July in South London which will involve cruising on the river Thames and the Grand Union Canal.

We are the champions

Cold with no snow today. A few days ago I mentioned my team, Blind Ali, winning the KC4 bowling league championship. By way of proof I have added a photo of our open-top bus parade through Tolworth Broadway.Several thousand fans, garbed in black and white, lined the broadway (according to an estimate by David Blunket)but were well constrained by police in riot gear. The bus was kindly arranged and paid for by our Irish sponsors The Shergar Meat Company. Most of the parade was in very warm sunshine but ended early due to a mighty thunderstorm, quickly clearing the crowd without incident.

Stenson Magnet

Eskimo weather again today but with dandruffy snow this time. The magnet that is Stenson operated again, drawing us over, this time with friends from London. (that's our excuse anyway). Of course nothing had changed since yesterday but we did have a chance to spend some time on Tardis Two alone, testing shower doors and drawers etc. In the next bay is a completed New and Old Boat Company Aqualine example, due for display at the Crick show in June, from which we gleaned lots of useful ideas and comparisons. Our friends were impressed with the room and light in Tardis Two and somewhat in awe of the Sixty two foot length. The "discussions" over toilet sinks and Galley-tops appear to have been settled. After lunch at the Dragon (again) we headed home in ever-increasing snowfall. Our next visit is scheduled for Friday the 1st March, ever closer to boat completion.

Bog standard

Eskimo weather today. Before travelling to the boatyard we had a "lively discussion" regarding central heating on the boat. The "normal" radiators (which I prefer) are already in place but Lynne belatedly decided she would prefer the continuous floor-level ones. Having reviewed our limited funds I think the discussion ended in my favour. A great start. Things did not improve when we arrived due to two swans attempting to climb the steps as we wanted to descend. After a lot of aggressive body language and hissing (by the swans) we managed to enter the boat shed. The bed base is now fitted with space for four large drawers at one end and further storage space beyond the water tank with level gauge fitted. The shower cubicle is fully fitted. The diesel gauge is also fitted and the engine is ready to run. Another "lively discussion" ensued regarding a handbasin in the rear loo. Mick the fitter confirmed a handbasin was not on the specification due to restricted room. Lynne's recollection of the outcome of our discussion with Eddie and Dean a few weeks ago regarding the late addition of a rear loo was that a sink was possible. My recollection was somewhat different. To cut an extremely long story short Mick obtained a price for fitting a handbasin. Bearing in mind some hull and plumbing changes would be necessary the price is considerably more than we can afford. The swans had moved so over lunch at the Dragon further "discussions" were had. I am VERY happy with progress and fittings. I have a working engine and bow-thrusters, fuel and water tanks both with gauges, a multi-fuel stove and a bed. The only thing missing is a magazine rack in the loo. (a man thing). Women couldn't give a stuff about such things and worry over the curtain/blind colour and style, handbasins in toilets, revolving clothes lines, draining board design and where the ironing board will go. (a woman thing). We discussed our specification (which falls approximately within our budget) but agreed a higher spec would inevitably cost more than we have, ("Simples"...as the meerkats would say) The remainder of lunch was quiet, as was the journey home. We have friends visiting from London tomorrow wanting to see the boat so I'm hoping for a cheerier trip.