My last day?

I awoke at 3.30 am to find myself alone, which was a little disconcerting after solid sleep. Having read a chunk of my book I returned to bed alone at 0430 and after a short sleep returned downstairs at the more reasonable hour of 0730and had my usual breakfast routine by Lynne,  blood check,injection,fresh fruit salad, tablets ) and returned to bed,again alone.Overnight I had reconsidered my intention to return to rowing in the future as the distances involved to and from the club are excessive. Joining a nearby club would inevitably cause me confidence problems due to my health issues and the need to address /explain them all to the other club members, whilst members of my current club are all already fully aware of them and my capabilities etc. A quick check with my new physiatrist nurse eased my mind a little and I agreed with Lynne  I would continue attending the gym  until all options had been explored and resolved, although inevitably this resulted in a difference  of opinion and prolonged silences between us. I attended the gym and returned home in silence, having had a rewarding session. Lynne had no explanation for her absence and tersely blamed my mental state. Am I going mad ?