Brazilian

When I was wheeled out of theatre some one commented I had more tube connections than London, the removal of which resulted in widespread "waxed areas" on my arms. The other areas of obvious damage are where the clamps were fitted to keep my head from moving during drilling operations. This raises the image of my operation taking place on a Black and Decker Workmate bench bought from Argos in their summer sale

Another friend has suggested  I use my zipped head as a money box for poppy collections, but failed to explain how I get the money out again. With Poppy Day looming don't forget to wear one and give a generous donation for it. The British legion and Help for Heroes are the only organisations who give a monkeys for the welfare of our returning troops, injured or otherwise. This is our one opportunity each year to show our gratitude so make the most of it.